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Friday, January 30, 2009

writer's block

As an author, I usually look at life from a certain perspective. I take in colour, I take in faces, I take in places. Sometimes the littlest things can inspire one to write a tale; anything really, ranging from the brightest star to the blackest coal. There are six questions that are always in need of an answer:

What?

Why?

Who?

Where?

When?

And finally, how?

Sometimes I can pick up a pen write about the lovers I saw in the park; the way he looked at her; the way she blushed at his touch; the beautiful aura they seem to radiate as their eyes were blind to the world. The only needed each other; nothing more, nothing less. I love writing, it is part of me; A part which also generates income. A book on the bestsellers list is what I need to hit it big time. People love to read although some consider reading, for the lack of a more civilized word, ‘geeky’ or ‘nerdy’ as the common slang goes. I need something that would capture the mind, something that doesn’t come out as too daring but seeps in quietly before making its bold debut.

What I don’t need is a writer’s block. I sit here at my apartment watching the world go by from my balcony. Everything looks dull. You may think it is a cloudy day, the sun hidden amongst the blankets of water vapour. I am sorry to disappoint you. In fact, it is a sunny day like no other. The birds are singing, the sun is shining and life is going on as it should. Maybe it is just me. I do remember putting on my lucky shoes and skirt today. Unfortunately, it chooses to share its luck with everyone else but me. I have been sitting here for two long hours without a single spark running through my fingers. Nothing seems to trigger a flow of words. To put it bluntly, I am bored.

According to the dictionary which I have somewhere on my shelf, ‘boredom’ is a state of feeling dull. Feeling ‘bored’ means ‘to be tired of the world’. So at this exact moment, I am the epitome of that word. ‘Bored’. How odd it sounds on my lips. I will not lower myself as to watch the fleeting images on the ‘black box’ commonly known as the ‘television’. (Perhaps ‘black’ isn’t the right words anymore as the ‘telly’ (once again common jargon; comes in different colours nowadays) I can hardly find anything that has enough substance to feed the mind. Even the news replays the same story again, except in different settings.

I despise having writer’s block. It is as though I am in the driver’s seat without a destination or even a license. I rarely have these days which are exactly what drives me up the wall. I cannot write a single felicitous word that would lead me anywhere. I have clicked the “backspace” button too many times that it almost looks worn. Nothing today seems to give me a nudge in the right direction. Even the drunkard next door could rhyme at four o’clock in the morning. Granted he will have a terrible hangover when he wakes up today but if he can do that in such a disagreeable temperament, why can’t I, in a stable and sane state of mind, write a sentence without finding it bland.

In such a state what can one do?

I have read poems about writer’s block. People describe it as being ‘an eagle with a broken wing’. Another author says it’s a rollercoaster ride. I have to say they describe the feeling very well. It is a helplessness that envelopes you. A bubble you can’t get out of. It’s a rope that’s tied around you waist holding you back just as you are about to reach the finish line. And honestly, I hate it. It is the worst thing that could happen to an author. I hope you never have writer’s block because it eats you slowly like an acid; burning silently until there is nothing left.

And to prove the fact even more,

I am ending this right now...,[juz f0r awhile]kih3..


i'll on9 after my mission acc0mplish..[yakk]ehiks..wish me lucks*wink3..


n last one,,ma fell0w frends..gudluck in ur upc0ming xam..n d sijil penempah maut..

let's fight 4 victory i said..ahaks^^


l0ve u all..stay health n keep ur mind open[d0n't be s0 narr0w-minded laa]ekeke..(ngabey2)


s0 l0ng!!see yarh when i'll see yarh!!oh0o0o..^^


~assalamualaikum~


peace2 kcg peas..kiki3xPp



THE END.

2 comments:

kimomoto said...

wah dasyatnye BI sampai i x terbace huhhuuhuh...
anyway nice blog...

✖qiELa™✖ said...

haks..
xde laa..
hee..

thnx anyway^^